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| Was at Everitt road for a viewing. I think, due to the extremely low traffic of my LJ readership, it is safe to say which unit it is. 6X (after much consideration, I edited the unit number) Everitt road was the unit in which when I stepped into the master bedroom on the second floor, I felt a fierce glare at me. Instinct already held be back at the entrance of the bedroom door, but as it is part of my job, I have to head in. It felt very uneasy, probably because it knows that I am in the know. As I turned right and got to the bathroom, that is where, structurally, it was altered to hide something. What it is, I do not know, but I know the goosebumps were strongest when I tried to step into the bathroom. And hence, I decided not to.
I stepped out, and went into the second bedroom. The boarded ceiling was too weird - I just don't know how to explain it. It must have been designed in a way that hides the ceiling's true height - an inconsistent implementation from the ceiling boards in the 3rd bedroom. It then shifted its attention on my client. It got more hostile. We originally thought we could close the case when we drove by earlier in the day. Though old, but the space is perfect. But, unbeknownst to the landlord's agent, this is something that me and my client would prefer very much not to handle.
We moved back downstairs, and came across the kitchen, with windows that look out into the backyard. There was a small plot of soil, and something tells me that, there's something down there. No, I don't think it's a dead body or what, but there's just this, uncertain something.
The client needed the space badly. But due to this unforeseen circumstance, it would take days to resolve this problem. It's no small feat. On a scale of 10, this one ranks between 7 to 8 - nasty, confrontational, and most likely, the resident here for the longest time. Residents are hard to deal with. It's another female, and Malay, too (I'll post in another entry). It is when I asked around later on, that the unit has changed tenants more than 3 times in the past year, which is what I had expected - the previous tenants all had problems living here and decided to discontinue the lease. Little wonder that the unit, at 1800sq ft built in, a terrace house, is only asking for $3,500 negotiable. There must be a catch somewhere.
Within a span of 2 weeks, this is the second 7 or 8/10 entity that I've came across. Seems like there're more female and Malay entities in the east.
I just hope my friend has gotten his problem taken care of. This one ranks at 8.5/10. | |
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| The first song that I learned when i joined choir, is The Water is Wide.
The choral version is slow, soothing, but melancholic. I have grown to love this song after we got onto the final pages of the sheets. I don't really focus on lyrics, not when I'm 13 and could live without romantic love, nor know how it could and have impacted me when I'm a grown up. Nor did I know, only after hours of research on the net, that the lyrics of this choral version isn't the full lyrics, and has been re-arranged by the re-arranger to express how he felt the song should be, and probably reflected what he felt, and I think he has left his mark in this version.
Throughout the years, I have always thought that the version that I learned is the accurate and original one, until I heard Sarah McLachlan's version. Recent searches on Google will yield you many different results. All heart breaking in their own ways, but the story is always complete - even if it ends in sadness, that the protagonist ends up waiting for a love who will never come back to him / her - it is always explicitly expressed in the lyrics, and amply, too.
Then, I recalled the choral version's lyrics. It's only 3 stanza, but it is grand and powerful in its own right. It doesn't complete the story - it hangs in a state of limbo. A feeling of helplessness, of longing, where you can almost hear silence because it is so loud, lonely, and sad. The stanzas have also been rearranged in an order to further exemplify what the re-arranger felt within.
I am currently working on two friends' song, after a long absence from music. After which, I will re-create this version that I loved so much, and I hope to share with people who can appreciate music, and sincerity.
Do do do do do~~
Do do do~~ do do~~
Ooh oo~ Ooh oo~~
Ooh oo~~ Ooh oo~~ The water is wide I can’t get o’er And neither have I Wings to fly Give me a boat That can carry two And both shall row My love and I A ship there is That sails the sea He’s loaded deep As deep can be But not as deep As the love I’m in With faith our love Will never end Oh love is handsome And love is fine Fresh as a jewel When first it’s new But love grows old And waxes cold And fades away Like summer dew Like summer dew
The water is wide
Do do do do do~~
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| "How do you tell someone that you know about his darkest secrets, the things in which he said he would never do again, but which is evidently going on, which he thinks that others have no knowledge of? If I tell him that I know, it would be an intrusion of privacy, and a breach of trust - these would be obvious defense coming from him. Next, he would demand for proof, evidence. Makes me wonder if he is desperate enough to use this as an ultimatum to checkmate me because he knew he hid his tracks well enough to not leave any hard evidence behind. I'm not here to destroy our marriage, and I'm not going to throw the pictures of him with that woman on the table. Evidence of the booze. The drugs. The lies. The external meetings outside of work. My friends all told me that if by hiring a private detective I am sharpening my knife, why do I not go for the kill? The truth is, I don't know if I can still love him, but I think I still do. Will he change? It's not the first time he played dumb. Claimed victim. Went on the offensive. And I'm always the one apologizing. I'm always the emotional and illogical party. I think I'm just too kind, and I love him too much to use anything against him. Strange how I am one of the best in the legal field, but harmless when I'm in the bedroom.
I have decided to move out, slowly distance myself, and stay away. I can't live without him, but I think I have come to the point where I have to try. Memories make it difficult to break, and they are the reason I cry every night to sleep, for I know that there will not be a place for them if I am to start a new life, and I'm not sure if these memories will live inside of him. If this is not sadness, I don't know what is." - excerpts from a random magazine at a clinic's coffee table.
Reminded me of my mum's failed marriage with my father. Such damage. I'm sure stories like these are not uncommon around us. | |
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| The pursuit of knowledge, of happiness, it's easy to remember where it all began, but it never ends if one is never content. Of course, that being said, there should always be a certain bar (not the drinking kind) where we set for ourselves, and it is this bar that sometimes decides how far we go / progress.
You can see this bar, as foot steps - the number of foot steps it takes to reach to your desired destination. Once you have reach the end, another journey appears. How many of these journeys do we take, should we take, must we take? It never ends until you decide to call it a day.
I guess the same applies to many of us. What am I pursuing? Why am I pursuing what I'm pursuing? It is at this point that I ask you to stop, and ask yourself. What are you pursuing? Why? And what happens after? What, why, whom are you doing it for? Is this what you want? Is this what you perceive to be what you want? I think, it will be rare if you have the answer to everything.
I realized, through my years of observation and walking around, that I can categorize people into 3 main categories:
Those who are on a quest to find out who they are by going on different journeys and passages, and those who already know who they are, and whom are fulfilling quests on this earth as part of their perceived responsibilities. Then, there're the ones who switch in between the two, and with each journey taken and having defined their evolved identity, before they embark on new journeys which will further shape and define who they are.
Which one are you?
Or rather, who, are you? | |
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| A thousand thoughts are coursing through my mind, what if this, what if that, but mostly, about me and the days ahead. A familiar feeling - solidarity, came with the thoughts, like a tinge of tangy-like sourness at the whirl deep in your cheeks. It's like a party of different sensations in your mouth, but you know there's actually nothing. There were a lot of preparation to expect things to be different, and expecting to taking them on myself more so than ever, and just letting the matters that matter, take wing of its own, and soar through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky. I lay my memories and dreams upon those wings, I can only leave them now, and see what tomorrow brings.
I think, this is about making peace within oneself, I think, until reflections upon a cup of hot earl grey wake your senses and reminds you that there is only you tasting the mild-citrusy crisp fragrance, and no one else to share the stirrings with.
Then you make peace with yourself again. | |
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| The morning is always cold - I would flip on my side and turn off the fan. This new place that I have moved into does not have an air-conditioner. The bed space is unbelievably cheap. A fan suffices during days when heat is unbearable, and the shower without heater is something that I have gotten used to, thanks to BMT.
The usual morning traffic and klink-klangs and what not's along the narrow turns of Everton would wake me again after I have woken earlier. I sat up in my bed, staring into blank space for a while, before I feel my cheeks caking. I have to wash away the night before. It's a new day and I wouldn't want a repeat. Tough, but the day has to go on and the best thing that I can do now is to forget. I wish I'd more control over human psyche manipulation. It is never the way people said it is. Saying is always easy. I've come to the conclusion that to be consistently consistent is a human impossibility. Hence, words that have been said, we can only do our best to safeguard that they don't change, and understand others when they do.
A familiar beeping sound can be heard. It must've went on for the entire night. I wore my slippers and walked to the washer. Rinse, wash, repeat. Rinse, wash, repeat. As long as we have laundry, this cycle will always be there. Suddenly, though I had a good rest, but fatigue set in again. The water did not drain, and I had to reset the machine. Ironically, resetting the machine, sets the cycle in motion. If I leave it there, the cycle stops. And if I don't remove the laundry, they will be unwearable soon after staying under sud and water for so long. What am I to do?
I was thinking too much. It's just a washing machine. And so, I drained it anyway, reset, and set it on a 29-min cycle.
I went for breakfast, finished, and came back and blogged.
Hello Sunday. | |
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| I've lost way too many thoughts by not blogging them down.
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Why do people blog? To share their thoughts, and to seek the acknowledgement from a census so as to re-affirm the value of their thoughts? Or is it really musings / reminders / pockets of wisdom that serve the self, or both? Or is it a continuous process that helps in refining one's thoughts? Or is it really just a journey - destination don't really matter, but come what may? But.. there must be a reason behind everything, every action.
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What are we pursuing? There're too many things that people are pursuing. We often only mention what we prioritize, and what we can remember, and most of all, what we want to hear (which can also be what we want others to hear). Hence, what we tell others is almost never the complete picture (though it doesn't mean that you are not honest). You don't come across a normal conversation and say why you write what you write and explain if that is what you are pursuing.
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Human nature itself is a complex science, and while we can advance beyond the atmosphere and into outer space, but seldom are we able to achieve breakthrough what is deep beneath on the ocean floors. Human nature and character is exactly like that, in my opinion.
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Acceptance - Without acceptance, people often find it difficult to move on. If you think or know for a fact that someone you care about is not able to withstand the impact / accept this something dreadful that you are going to tell them, then my question to you is, in this case, is the truth really necessary? Does it really set people free? If you care about it enough, you probably wouldn't say it. But, heck, that is something you then have to live with. Hence sometimes, we have lies, and it isn't exactly bad, because ultimately, it is because we care for the person that in this instance, the truth isn't necessary.
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And I hate telling the truth. It usually does nothing good at all when pride and / or greed is around. There must be a reason behind every action. What purpose does it serve? Can we expect the receiver to accept the truth? Have we thought / considered about this before we tell it? Will there be more good than bad? Or more bad than good? Why is that so? Reconsider your
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Sometimes, just sometimes, the Nike slogan "Just Do It" might make things a lot easier than holding back and thinking too much. Hence, sometimes we discard aside all others and just let words flow free. If it can work for you, it can create just as much trouble for you.
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Snippets of thoughts. Time to get back to work. But I'm sleepy.. | |
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| 这一年半来，我一直处于“天要你亡，你不能不亡”的现况。虽然现在还是处于半死状态，但我深信，我会有“人定胜天”的时候。
全在于一念之差。
坚持信念，修生自己，再和天比高。
add oil. | |
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| No single person is born the same. Hence, not every piece of well-meant advice would work the same way it does on some and not on the others.
Would it be better to remind people on the disclaimers, then? Or is it a given - something common that everyone SHOULD understand? | |
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